When you’re working on your own, there’s a sense of freedom to do things your way on your time. However, if you’re working as part of a design team, it’s easy for personalities to clash.
Sure, working in a design team opens up all kinds of learning opportunities and new perspectives. It also means having to deal with jerks that try to drag the rest of the team down and poison the project. But why grow as a designer when you can just push people around and makes things difficult for everyone?
Today, we’re going to teach you how to be that jerk.
CompanyFolders shared some characteristics of the jerk in a design team. This how-to guide shows you just how easy it is to make a design collaboration absolutely insufferable.
Jump into a collaboration blindly
If you want your collaboration to be full of headaches, start by jumping into the project headfirst with no set goals and no project brief. Hell, don’t even bother talking about what each person is expected to bring to the table—because who cares right?
Work with the wrong people
There’s no need to learn anything about the people on your design team. In fact, the less you know about their work and personality, the better chance you have of an epic clash as the project progresses.
Use lawsuits instead of contracts
Forget about the legalities like ownership and intellectual rights. You can always deal with the expensive consequences later.
Always be right
If the members of your design team have valid concerns about your ideas, just tell yourself that they’re not as talented as you are.
Don’t respect anyone’s time but your own
Who cares about showing up late to any meetings—make the design team wait for you. And if they don’t? One less thing to worry about.
Use fonts that nobody else has
If your design team doesn’t have access to the same fonts as you, that’s their problem, not yours.
Fill your work files with useless layers
Name your layers things that don’t make any sense. This will make a project impossible for anyone else to work on. And don’t forget to leave plenty of unused, blank layers to clutter up your project.
Save your files with confusing names
While you’re at it, name your entire project file something that nobody understands.
Close off communication entirely
Don’t bother checking your e-mail. Turn off your phone. Hell, move to a new city or change your name. Just remember to always keep your work to yourself and never let anyone know what you’re doing.
If you must communicate, make it difficult
If your design team manages to track you down and you’re forced to communicate with them, be as dishonest and indirect as possible.
Don’t sweat deadlines
Deadlines are really more like goals, aren’t they? If you don’t reach them in time, just force your teammates to do your work for you.
Pass the blame
Why take responsibility for your own mistakes when you can just push them on to someone else? Remember to shift the blame whenever possible.
Take all the recognition
Make it all about you. It really should be anyway. Who cares if your design team gets the credit they’re due?
Just be a complete monster in general
Don’t smile, don’t laugh, don’t joke or make small talk; these people are your underlings at best, so don’t get attached or too personal.