How to be the jerk on your design team

When you’re working on your own, there’s a sense of freedom to do things your way on your time. However, if you’re working as part of a design team, it’s easy for personalities to clash.

Sure, working in a design team opens up all kinds of learning opportunities and new perspectives. It also means having to deal with jerks that try to drag the rest of the team down and poison the project. But why grow as a designer when you can just push people around and makes things difficult for everyone?

Today, we’re going to teach you how to be that jerk.

CompanyFolders shared some characteristics of the jerk in a design team. This how-to guide shows you just how easy it is to make a design collaboration absolutely insufferable.

Jump into a collaboration blindly

Be a design team jerk by jumping in blind

If you want your collaboration to be full of headaches, start by jumping into the project headfirst with no set goals and no project brief. Hell, don’t even bother talking about what each person is expected to bring to the table—because who cares right?

Work with the wrong people

Be a design team jerk by working with the wrong people

There’s no need to learn anything about the people on your design team. In fact, the less you know about their work and personality, the better chance you have of an epic clash as the project progresses.

Use lawsuits instead of contracts

Be a design team jerk by filing a lawsuit

Forget about the legalities like ownership and intellectual rights. You can always deal with the expensive consequences later.

Always be right

Be a design team jerk by always being right

If the members of your design team have valid concerns about your ideas, just tell yourself that they’re not as talented as you are.

Don’t respect anyone’s time but your own

Be a design team jerk by respecting nobody's time

Who cares about showing up late to any meetings—make the design team wait for you. And if they don’t? One less thing to worry about.

Use fonts that nobody else has

Be a design team jerk by using fonts no one has

If your design team doesn’t have access to the same fonts as you, that’s their problem, not yours.

Fill your work files with useless layers

Be a design team jerk by adding confusing layers

Name your layers things that don’t make any sense. This will make a project impossible for anyone else to work on. And don’t forget to leave plenty of unused, blank layers to clutter up your project.

Save your files with confusing names

Be a design team jerk by creating confusing file names

While you’re at it, name your entire project file something that nobody understands.

Close off communication entirely

Be a design team jerk by closing off communication

Don’t bother checking your e-mail. Turn off your phone. Hell, move to a new city or change your name. Just remember to always keep your work to yourself and never let anyone know what you’re doing.

If you must communicate, make it difficult

Be a design team jerk by making communication difficult

If your design team manages to track you down and you’re forced to communicate with them, be as dishonest and indirect as possible.

Don’t sweat deadlines

Be a design team jerk by missing deadlines

Deadlines are really more like goals, aren’t they? If you don’t reach them in time, just force your teammates to do your work for you.

Pass the blame

Be a design team jerk by passing the blame

Why take responsibility for your own mistakes when you can just push them on to someone else? Remember to shift the blame whenever possible.

Take all the recognition

Be a design team jerk by taking all the recognition

Make it all about you. It really should be anyway. Who cares if your design team gets the credit they’re due?

Just be a complete monster in general

Be a design team jerk by being a complete monster

Don’t smile, don’t laugh, don’t joke or make small talk; these people are your underlings at best, so don’t get attached or too personal.