If you haven’t heard of Medium, it’s a site where you can read, write, and interact with millions of ideas and stories from around the world. 10 Steps To Becoming The Perfect Graphic Designer is a humorous tongue-in-cheek post by Philadelphia-based designer Patrick Macomber that should give you a laugh.
This 10 step guide actually has little to do with bettering your skills as a graphic designer—instead, Macomber dishes out tips and pokes fun at the stereotypical idea of the perfect graphic designer. His guide humorously highlights the hipster traits that has come to be associated with the profession. Check out the 10 steps below–or see how you can be the design teammate from hell here.
- Buy some books. Books about design preferably, but as long as the books look good and look nice on shelves, you should be fine.
- Look the part. For the love of god, get some glasses. If you don’t have eye problems, grow a beard. If you can’t grow a beard, get the fuck outta here.
- Pin cool looking stuff on Pinterest. If you don’t know what cool stuff is, pin some old bikes, or 1950s logos or something. If you don’t like Pinterest, at least say something like “I used Pinterest until my mom started posting tons of weight loss stuff.”
- Never. EVER. Smile. If you smile in a photo, you’ll literally be working in the production dungeon your whole life. Smirks are allowed in extreme situations.
- Start writing vaguely inspirational stories. You don’t have to know what you’re talking about. Just use phrases like “Don’t be afraid” or just be contrarian to the popular viewpoint. “It’s not about MY work. It’s about OUR work.”
- Twitter & Dribbble: Follow the trends. You’ll be knee deep in internet strange in no time.
- Buy some Oxfords or get outta my face!
- Go to networking events wearing quirky bow-ties. People will love that! If you’re from somewhere like Texas, wear a cowboy hat. Because you are completely defined by where you come from. It’s good to get extremely drunk beforehand.
- Latch onto popular people and NEVER LET GO. Ride them like a parasite rides its host. To death.
- Be good at graphic design. I guess.
Graphic designers, what do you think of these 10 steps to graphic design perfection? Like this post if you agree or share your thoughts.
Daniel is an Art Director and Graphic Designer with over a decade of experience in advertising and marketing in the Greater Toronto Area.